The Gift - comments or suggestions please?

David, I like this a great deal, but found only one thing distracting: what of the repetition of "fragile" in the penultimate line? What about something like "fragile as my very soul:" allowing you to pick up an internal rhyme on "solitary" in your final line while maintaining your cadence. You also have the added benefit of heightening the complexity of your final line because "very" carries the archaic sense of "real" or "genuine" and imputes even greater precision to your diction while heightening the mystery of what your final line really is referring to... Otherwise, I don't think you've missed a beat here, but what do I know, I'm just a simple man... PEB